The loss of a loved one is a universal experience shared by people all around the world.
The culture and beliefs about death may be different but anyone who has felt what it’s like to lose someone they love shares the same sentiments and pain with other people going through the same ordeal.
With the ravaging of the pandemic to our world, hearts, and mental health, it is also like Death that will take a person’s life just because it is time. So it is important to find solace that after the storm, you will get through life wiser and stronger. But if you are still having a hard time, no worries. Take these tips as gentle reminders to keep going because your loved one may have passed but they still would love to see you enjoy what your future has to offer.
Acknowledge your feelings
- Denying yourself of acknowledging your feelings would only make it harder for you to get to the second part.
While you might be tempted to keep your messy emotions to yourself, you should remember that the grief you are experiencing is a perfectly normal reaction for losing someone you dearly love. If you are thinking that everyone around your family seems to hold it in together, chances are they just have a different way of coping with the loss since no two experiences are exactly alike.
Feeling guilty about not having a strong grasp if your grief is also natural, since it always starts the strongest where it hurts us the most. Your grief would mostly start with overwhelming emotions and even some physical reactions that you would have never thought to do before. As time passes by, this grief, pain, and loss would fall back and feel like a truly natural human experience-- and that is fine as it makes you more human.
- This is a hard step to take but it is a crucial one. You might find yourself bargaining from any god that you can call on to bring your dearly beloved and departed back to life and that is alright. But you must also remember that no amount of prayers, wishing, and even spells can bring the dead back from the cold and unyielding grave.
If you do not accept the loss, how can you win in life for them? Getting stuck to the past when they were still with you would make it harder for your future to come by too. While it may feel easier to just stay in the past, sooner or later, you will realize that you have let so many opportunities slip away that your loved one would have wanted you to take.
Accepting a sudden loss is hard and no one would ever want to experience it but that is just the reality of life.
Get yourself out in the world
- We get it, staying inside your homes is the safest thing to do now but through following safety precautions, you can get yourself back but the wiser version that will get through this loss.
To take your mind off the loss, try to get a new hobby that requires your full concentration. You can try doing puzzles and crosswords that not only distract you but also your brain to think about something other than the pain.
Its okay if it’s hard
- Getting over the pain quickly is not a competition. Some people may wear it as a badge of honor that they never shed a tear or two at the loss of a special person but do you really want to be heartless enough to not properly grieve the loss in your own way?
Also, there are days when life feels harder than yesterday when you have thought you have moved on. That is normal. If you do not think so, just think of your grief as a big ball that is inside a box with a button. The button represents your triggers and since the pain is still fresh, the big ball easily presses on the button since there really is not space for it to go anywhere. With this, you cry and cry at your loss. As time passes by though, the ball gets smaller and smaller and the amount of times it can press your triggers lessen. Yet the chance is still there and it would always be a part of you. You will just remember that your happiness after the storm is what they would have wanted for you.
Take care of yourself
- While it may be hard to get out of your bed to do your daily business, self-care would do more for your mental state than wallowing in it. If you feel like you need to go brush your hair and also your teeth, strike while the iron is hot. After the brush session, you would feel fresher and a little bit better now that the knots and gunk of yesterday are gone.
Taking care of yourself can also just be changing out of your pajamas and drinking your favorite tea to help calm your nerves. Meanwhile, washing can also be likened to you washing away the pain and grief that you are experiencing right now.
Just let yourself take little steps towards self-care and it would not feel as daunting as it seems. Taking care of yourself is also not selfish. Remember who took care of you when you were young or hurt? That is right, it is your loved one and to honor their life and sacrifices, learn the art of self-care because they only want what is best for you.
Losing a loved one is never easy and talking about the pain and misery is just as hard too. Which is why never compare your grief timeline to others. Just let your emotions naturally run its course and soon, you would find your smile once again.