The first special woman in everyone's life is arguably their mother. But a lot of people tend to take mothers for granted because they're always there. They never complain despite our best efforts to frustrate them, and they drop everything to run to our aid when needed. Unfortunately, for those that aren't mothers, we rarely take the time to understand what motherhood is really like. It's the most thankless job there is, yet we expect mothers to do it with a smile on their face, and hardly will they ever complain.
One of the best things you can do for your mother is to see her as a human being first and a mother second. She has her own hopes, dreams, and desires. She, too, gets angry and frustrated and isn't always filled with love and positivity. Mothers are the unsung heroes of every household; celebrating Mother's Day is the very least you can do to make them feel seen and appreciated for their impact on our lives.
Most mothers would say that they don't need anything special to feel appreciated on Mother's Day. But sometimes, it's nice to receive a tangible token of love and appreciation from your children. If you're looking for ways to make your mother feel special this year, we have a few ideas you can easily execute.
Why Should You Celebrate Mother's Day Everyday?
Motherhood doesn't come naturally; it's something women are constantly learning about on the job and adapting to. There are many challenges that come with motherhood, including the fact that who they were before having children and who they are afterward are two completely different people. After childbirth, women immediately need to figure out how to keep a tiny human being alive–realizing that this child is entirely dependent on them– and try to figure out how they fit into their new role.
Mothers often put everyone else's needs first and neglect their own wants and needs in favor of ensuring that everyone in the family is content–fathers included. They often experience burnout at high rates, but unfortunately, they cannot take a day off. Not to mention, their actions face a lot of criticism from the public and media because there is what everyone thinks mothers should do, and then there's what each child needs. The mother is in the best position to know what approach to take in each situation.
Considering all the scrutiny mothers face while being expected to be grateful, it's not too much to ask that we take a day out of the year to celebrate them and make them feel special. Their contribution to our lives is truly irreplaceable.
How to Improve Your Relationship with Your Mother
Here are some tips on how you can improve your relationship with your mother:
Work on Yourself
It takes two to tango. Therefore, if you want to change or repair the relationship you have with your mother, you have to first take responsibility for your actions and for whatever part you played in the existing tension. Being objective will help you understand your own actions as well as your mother's and therefore, will help you be more empathetic.
Reach out to her
It's difficult to fix a relationship when both parties aren't talking. Open up the lines of communication. If you haven't been on speaking terms, letting her know she’s been on your mind is a good first step. If you have been, setting a time to have a sit down is a good direction to take to address the subject that brings tension in your relationship.
Listen Actively
Active listening means paying attention to what your mother is saying without thinking about what you're going to say next or judging what she's saying. This way you hear what she's actually communicating and you can get a better understanding of her perspective.
Understand That your Mother is her own Person
In order to be compassionate towards yourself and your mom, you have to understand that people do what they can with the resources and information available to them at any given time. Try asking your mom about her upbringing and her relationship with her parents.
This will help you see her as a person capable of making mistakes and of being hurt. It will also help you understand what motivates her and why she responds to conflict the way she does. Viewing her as her own person will enable you to empathize with her.
Be Open-minded
Ever heard of the saying familiarity breeds contempt? This is especially true when we disagree with loved ones. We tend to be more unyielding than we would be with other people. In relationships, we cannot truly be objective, because we chose to view a situation under whatever lens suits us best in a particular emotion–happy, angry, sad, etc.
This is to say that you and your mother may not be necessarily right or wrong, but that you view a situation from completely different perspectives. Setting aside what you believe to be true and trying to view things from her perspective will grant you a better understanding of why she feels the way she does.
Let go of Old Grudges and Resentments
If your mom has acknowledged her part in your estrangement and apologized, be willing to forgive her. She's human and is allowed to make mistakes too. We tend to be more unyielding with mothers because we assign them emotions and actions as a monolith.
Remember you've made your share of mistakes too. Holding on to the hurt will only hurt you in the long run and rob you of an important relationship in your life.
Give her your Time and Attention
For any relationship to thrive, both parties have to work intentionally to make it so. Make an effort to spend time with your mother regularly. Learn about her interests and explore those together. Become her friend.
Appreciate her
Despite your strained relationship or lack thereof, let your mom know that you see her and that you appreciate all that she has done for you. Focusing on what you appreciate about her will help both of you remember a time when things weren't strained. It will also help you let go of the hurt and get you on your way to healing.
Create Realistic Expectations
We often tend to have an idyllic view of our parents, particularly our mothers. Do not compare your relationship with any that you see either on TV or in real life. Set realistic expectations to avoid disappointment. Remember that your relationship is unique and just focus on how you can better it.
How Can You Show Your Mom You Care?
There are lots of ways to show your mom you care everyday. Here are a few ideas:
Take on One of Her Projects
Your mom probably has a project she’s been meaning to get to but hasn't been able to yet. It could be planting a garden, repairing some furniture, or something like building a website for her business. Taking on one of her projects would make her feel seen and supported.
Make a Homemade Card or Craft
Making something for mom is sure to make her feel appreciated and is something she will keep because of the time and effort you put into it. You could make a card with a special message inside, or create a craft that she can display in her home. If you're not sure where to start, there are plenty of tutorials online that can help you out. Just take some time to think about what your mom would appreciate, and you're sure to come up with something great!
Clean the House
Women still bear the brunt of housework so a great gesture would be to take on her household tasks for a day. It'll help you understand just how much she does daily and will also give her the day off. Additionally, you can hire a cleaner to do a deep clean every and now and then to ease the burden on her.
Give Her Some Alone Time
Mothers rarely get a moment to themselves. Most of their time is monopolized by their children and partners. Let her have the day to do with it as she pleases. Depending on what she likes, you can send her off on a day out with friends and have her come home to a clean house and dinner prepared.
Pamper Her
Put your mother first on Mother's Day. Get her a gift certificate for a massage or a mani/pedi. Send her out to her favorite restaurant for a meal or get her a shopping voucher for her to spoil herself. You can go with her or send her on her own if she prefers.
Watch Old Movies Together
If you haven't spent some quality time with your mother, find out what her favorite movies are and set up a movie night for you to watch movies together. Listen to what she loves about them and appreciate them from her perspective. This will be a beautiful memory for both of you.
Buy Her a Specialty Gift
Mother's Day gifts will vary depending on the interests and preferences of the mother in question. You could buy her a gift that relates to her hobbies or interests. For example, if she likes gardening, you could buy her a set of gardening tools or a new plant. If she likes cooking, you could buy her a cookbook or a new kitchen gadget. Whatever you get her, make sure it is something that she will appreciate and use.
Give a Bouquet
This one is a classic. Everyone likes receiving flowers because they're beautiful, fragrant, and are a lovely way to tell someone that you're thinking of them.
Spend Time with Her Doing Things She Loves
Organize a date for you and your mom where you spend the day doing things she likes such as going for walks or doing something adventurous. You can also find out what's on her bucket list and organize a day around it with her.
Plan a Big Family Gathering or Party in Honour of Mother's Day
If your mom is a fan of parties, plan a Mother's Day party and invite all of her favorite people to celebrate with her. Make sure you do all the cooking or order out and clean up after the party so she's not left doing all the cleanup after a party in her honor.
Design a collage
This is a fun way to put together a collection of all the memories you've shared. Be creative with it and highlight all the unforgettable moments you've had with her.
Conclusion
Mother's Day is a special day that reminds us all to celebrate our mothers and not take them for granted. It also reminds us that mothers are people too with their own needs and desires, their lives don't revolve around ours.
If you want to improve your relationship with your mother, work on yourself first and acknowledge your faults. Be open-minded to understand her perspective and that she can make mistakes too. Then be compassionate and forgiving so that you let go of past hurts and move on. Spend time with her intentionally and set realistic expectations for the relationship.
This Mother's Day, take a little time out of your busy day to do something special for your mom. It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive; just something that shows her how much you appreciate everything she does for you. We would suggest checking out some of our products–our ergonomic chairs, fitness gadgets, and even adjustable bed frames, to make the best gift ideas for aging parents.
We hope the tips we shared will help make your mother feel loved and appreciated on her special day. What are you waiting for? Start planning now!
