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All About Physical Touch
Sep 24, 2021
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Do you take pride in your hugs? Do you feel the most butterflies in your stomach when you kiss someone? Can’t you get enough massages or backrubs? Are you into public displays of affection? Do you unconsciously touch others when you speak? The list goes on but if your immediate answer to all of that is yes, then your primary love language is most probably Physical Touch. 

There are five love languages or the ways people prefer to express and receive love according to marriage counselor Gary Chapman. These are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Acts of Service. In one way or another, we practice all five but there is one or two that stand out the most for each one of us. This is when we feel the most loved or how we want to express our love to someone. Each of the five also gets a bad rap for different reasons. Some people say that words of affirmation are easy to give and fake; some hate on those who like to receive gifts and call them materialistic; others pick up on those who prefer quality time and mock them as clinging vines while for a few, they perceive those who like being served as lazy. 

Physical Touch gets the hate as it is often linked to lust or sex. But for someone with this love language, sexual activity or any form of physical touch is not about lust. It’s about deeply connecting with another person and feeling safe and secured in someone’s touch. It doesn’t even have to be romantic because a love language reflects on every relationship you have in life. For someone whose love language is physical touch, being touchy comes naturally. 

How to Tell if Your Primary Love Language Is Physical Touch

How to Tell if Your Primary Love Language is Physical Touch

There are many signs and ways to deduce that one’s language is physical touch. Here are some below: 

  • Randomly receiving kisses from someone you love makes you smile. 
  • You always look forward to hugs and kisses. 
  • You engage in the public display of affection. 
  • When you talk to anyone, your hand usually lands on their arm, their lap, their hands. 
  • You like any form of massage. 
  • You love long, warm hugs.
  • You feel instantly calmed down when someone you love touches you. 
  • You’re a touchy person. 
  • You feel special with the way someone holds you. 
  • You feel alone in a relationship without physical touch. 
  • You feel most loved when your partner initiates contact.

How To Express Your Love to Someone Into Physical Touch

How To Express Your Love to Someone Into Physical Touch

So when you’re with someone whose primary love language is physical touch, you don’t really have to prepare grand gestures or force yourself to do something you’re not into. 

Make a habit of small physical touches like not forgetting a kiss or a hug hello and goodbye. Over time, you would know better to extend that embrace for a little longer. When you’re together, randomly massage his or her back. Hold each other’s hand in public or rest your hand on his or her leg when you’re seated beside each other. When you feel that they’re stressed, hold their hand and rub it. 

It’s a struggle for people whose love language is physical touch to be in a long-distance relationship. But sometimes, distance can’t be avoided when unexpected life changes happen. You won’t be able to feel physical touch but you can always see each other online. 

You may schedule a video chat, stream a movie, or play games together. Having shared experiences even though you’re apart is great for someone whose love language is physical touch. They begin to look forward to the day you’ll get to see each other again. 

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Benefits of Physical Touch

Benefits of Physical Touch

Physical touch or contact has lots of benefits for you and your partner’s health. It may not only make your relationship stronger by either waiting it out or doing it meaningfully. Studies also show that physical health benefits also manifest through physical touch. Here are some ways on how physical touch can be beneficial for you. 

  • Physical touch can lead to emotional intimacy; hence, a stronger relationship. 
  • Physical touch relieves people from loneliness and abandonment or neglect. 
  • Physical touch lowers cortisol levels that help people manage stress. 
  • Pain is reduced in women through physical touch. 
  • Physical touch improves heart rate and blood pressure.
  • Physical touch may stimulate pathways for feel-good hormones oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. As a result, one's mood and another’s is uplifted. 
  • Lack of physical touch for a long time may lead to anxiety, depression, stress, and more. 

Final Thoughts 

Physical touch is not about lust or sexual favors. It’s about the emotions we associate with physical contact with the people we are attracted to, we care about, and we love. If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like being touched but you do, then you must have the talk. Communicate your wants and needs and see where you and your partner can make a compromise. If no one is willing to adjust, best to call the situation quits before ties are broken completely.